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Women in Islam: Nikah Rules

 

Today’s marriage laws are different from the medieval ages’ laws. Certainly the change has allowed for a more permanent and definitive definition of marriage. Marriage laws from medieval Islamic times, specified a more contractual agreement between a man and a woman, but not necessarily the involvement of love and passion tying together these two individuals, as it more believed today or has been since the inception of Mohammed’s marriage laws. This essay will, then, discuss the new laws set by Prophet Mohammed and argue that they are definitely more defined after the Qu’ran than before the Qu’ran, however, as a feminist essay, this essay will also argue that regardless of the changes in laws, marriage continues to be a beneficial contract between a man and a woman, benefiting more so the men than the women[1]. 

 

The Misyar marriage, which defined marriage in medieval Islamic times and that changed as a result of the Prophet Mohammed, is what we need to look into before we further enter into a discussion of the current Islam marriage legalities. For instance, Abdullah Ibn Abbas says that the marriage of those times was more of a “temporary marriage”, it did not include a period of dating before marriage, it did not include the concept of love or attraction, it was more so like a “man comes [into] town where he has no acquaintances, so he marries for a fixed time depending on his stay in town, the woman looks after his provisions [physically and sexually] and prepares his food”, he then leaves and that would be a divorce. The marriage concept of a woman ‘temporarily’ being available has actually being promoted in Iran in the last decade, so it is something Islam still presumed as valid by Muslims (Al-Misr; Sciolino).

 

Later, came the Prophet Mohammed, with his ideals and definite actions, he changed the way Islamic marriage was carried out, the way he chose to do it may not have been the most appropriate, marrying a six-year old, but again this is something that needs an entire essay itself in order to even discuss the borders of it, therefore, Islam laws on marriage became more definitive after the introduction of the Qu’ran.

 

The Qu'ran says that both men and women are equal in marriage; they have the same rights to leave and the same rights to stay. However, we can say that the Qu’ran may be contradicting itself a bit. How could this be possible, after all the Qu’ran was inspired by Allah? Well, simply, there must be different contexts in which Prophet Mohammed was relying on in order to conclude what he did, therefore, in marriage women are to be “devoutly obedient” and “guard in their husband’s absence” in order to appropriately abide by the new Islam marriage rules (Qu'ran 4: 34; Ahmad 25).

 

In this research, I will be noting the customs in the Muslim dating and marriage experiences, the rules that guide them as a couple and the precise orders given by Allah on what sex in marriage should be like. It is very clear from this research the marriage concept in Islam is one that is sanctified and encouraged as the best way to live one’s life and build one’s marriage. Most of the research comes from the Qu’ran itself, bear in mind that is where all the principles are noted, however, outside research was also used.

 

The Islamic law, the Sharia, complements the differences between men and women and their roles, obligations and traditions as men and women (Ahmad 9). The Qu'ran maintains that they need to regard their marriage as sacred. In Islam, marriage is a bond made between a man and a woman and it is a legal one that connects these two individuals for life in the sanctity of it. Islam encourages marriage when the persons involved are ready to do so, financially and emotionally.  Males who are over the age of 15 may marriage or if they have sexually matured early, however, women must be chaste before marriage and can only meet with their to-be husband when there are others around her (Shatzmiller 400). A few topics will be discussed as case studies. In order of importance, we will be discussing pre-marital engagements, love, sexuality, child-bearing, divorce, polygamy and overall rules within the marriage for both parties. 

 

Pre-Marital Engagement

 

Traditionally, Muslims engage in arranged marriages done between families and friends of families. Islam requires a legal marriage to include both parties' consent (meaning the two individuals arranged to be married, not the parents’), without this consent, the man has coerced the woman and it becomes an invalid marriage.

 

Marriage customs vary depending on the Muslim country we may be speaking of. They are sometimes implemented under the Islam law and sometimes not. Islam jurists hold that Muslim women may only marry Muslim men (Ahmed 284). The Qu'ran, however, allows Muslim men to marry women of other cultures and religions, however, they must be chaste. The main concern for Muslims is not placing oneself in a position that is less, inferior or worse to that of the follower of another religion, especially in the case when a Muslim man marries and non-Muslim woman (Ahmed 284).  A marriage considered for pleasure means that the man has paid money in exchange for the temporary spousal company of this woman. 

 

Love

 

Love is considered to be a sign of Allah, in Qu'ran 30:21, therefore, husbands are told to be kind to their wives and the wives are told to be kind to their husbands. They are encouraged to communicate and come up with a mutual agreement in order to decide the family structures and inner issues (Glasse 45). Muslim scholars have noted that if a woman is to rebel against her husband, they are prescribed to the Sura. This means that the husband is allowed to slightly beat his wife in order to express this physical separation (Yvonne 54). 

 

Sexuality

 

Regarding sexuality, there are many things that are prohibited by the Qu'ran. Women, for instance, who are already married, should be prohibited to "except for these, all orders are lawful, provided ye seek with gifts from your property. desiring chastity, not lust, seeing that ye derive benefit from them, give them dowers as prescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree Mutually, there is no blame on you, and Allah is all knowing and all wise" (Qu'ram 4:24). The Qu'ran also says that women are sort of property in many other ways, for instance, it states: "We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou has paid their dowers; and those whom thy right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allah has assigned to thee…” (Qu'ran 33:50). 

 

Children Bearing

 

Islam, and pre-Islamic culture, promoted the birth of as many children as possible between Muslim couples who can reproduce healthy babies. Under certain circumstances, however, it is allowed to limit the amount of children they have or at least control the reproduction process without suffering a penalty as a result (Hessini 5). Limiting the number of children is encouraged when the family is not full of resources, as in any other culture; however, ultimately if the woman does get pregnant, there is simply no turning back and no options to do so as well. Unlike common speculation might dictate, abortion is allowed if the embryo is less than 120 days is gestation, after this, the pregnancy has gone too far to abort (Beale 392).

 

Polygamy

 

Polygamy is the act of having more than one wife. It is simply a man who has many partners but they are all legally binding (Guity 69). In Islam, Polygamy is allowed as it is stated in the Qu'ran that "among His signs is that He has created for you, from your selves, mates that you may incline towards them and find rest in them, and He has engendered love and tenderness between you. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect" (Qu'ran 30:21). Also, the Qu'ran says that the husband needs to "do justice to them all, but you won’t be able to, so don't fall for one totally while ignoring other wife" (Black 34). Basically, what this all means is that if a man has one wife or more, he needs to make they are all satisfied emotionally, financially and sexually and that none of them ought to be denied the satisfaction of these needs. Additionally, the husband is not encouraged to fall in love with any one of his wives, although this is not common, so as to not have problems among the women (Hale 120).

 

Contrary to this mentality, however, is the case that women not being allowed to marry other men. In fact, if she wants to be with another man, she must choose to stay or leave, but not both. Adultery, for women, is not viewed as sanctified; therefore, the woman cannot betray her only husband but the man is allowed to marry other women, without having intercourse before marriage because otherwise he becomes unclean and unchaste. If a man becomes unchaste, this man is not to ever marry a chaste woman (Bademci 162). As the Qu'ran states, "women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity (Qu'ran 24:26). 

 

Divorce

 

Divorce, despite our traditional beliefs of Muslims, is allowed to be file by men and women alike. According to the Sharia, a woman who files a case of divorce in the courts means that she wants to be released from the duties of being her husband's wife. To prevent any animosity among the parties, the divorce order is usually not granted. There is roughly a period of three months before the divorce can be finalized (Brand 54). 

 

The Law states that divorce first has to be confirmed in three different occasions; otherwise, it is not valid. The first two times, the woman and the man are still considered married. The third time, however, the pronunciation of divorce means that the men is no longer the husband and therefore must leave the home. After divorce, the woman still needs to wait about three months during which the husband takes care of the children and the house, while he works full time. He is not allowed to go to the woman's house (Tony 25). This process may leave the woman without a family and without a husband; however, because she would be unable to support the children once they are back with her. In actuality, divorce is very limiting, especially for women (Virani 159). While men may divorce, women still face many obstacles to do so. Ultimately, most of the Muslim world avoids the issue of divorce and just keep their selves separated within the same home. 

 

In some cases, the court may dissolve the marriage based on punitive damages against the woman, if the damages are, say, deemed harmful, she will be a free woman and divorced. For instance, a case in India in 2005 showed a woman who had turned to the law and complaint about her husband repeatedly raping her as well as her father-in-law. Her marriage was dissolved and the husband was to pay the child support as well as living expenses until the children were of age. The father-in-law received 8 years in jail (Lindsay 197). 

 

Marriage

 

Regarding marriage, the Qu'ran is certainly the main dictator of its structure and flow. The Holy Qu'ran says, “And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace, and Allah is ample-giving, knowing" (Surah Nur 24:32). In fact, marriage in Islam is a very highly commendable act. It becomes obliged where there is the opportunity of falling into sin easily. Prophet Mohammad said that there is "no house [that] has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage" (Wasaelush Shia, Vol 14, p. 3 in www.al-islam.org).

 

Additionally, the Prophet said,

 

"when a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins" (Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 74).

 

Therefore, marriage is to be sustained through sexual intercourse to strengthen the man's faith in Allah. 

 

During the period of engagement, women are not to be with men alone. They are only allowed to be alone with each other after marriage. The proposal is made by a man to a woman and to her family, which is definitely encouraged. This is considered normal under Islam law and an act of responsibility by the man (www.al-islam.org). After the wedding, they may enjoy each other’s company as well as have sexual intercourse with each other. However, there are some restrictions to sex. For instance, the Qu'ran says that "menstruation is a discomfort. Do not establish sexual relations with them during the menses and do not approach them until the blood stops. Then when they have cleansed themselves you go into them as Allah has commanded you" (Wassaelush Shia, Vol. 1, p. 576). 

 

According to the Shariah, the monthly period is between three to ten days. If the bleeding is for less than three days, then this is not menstruation. If it is more than ten days, then for the rest of the bleeding, sexual intercourse is allowed. The prohibition comes when the wife discovers the period and it is better for her not to touch her body during these times. If the husband finds, during the process of having sexual intercourse, that the period has just commenced, he must withdraw immediately. Sexual intercourse is also prohibited after having a baby for a maximum of 10 days; it is prohibited during Ramadhan, and during Mecca (www.al-islam.org).

           

Conclusion

 

Prophet Mohammed came to Islam as a definite role provider. He helped shape the legalities of marriage, making it a lot more stable, long-term and with love involved. He was able to conclude the roles of each men and women giving it a sense of reliability and validity in the eyes of the law and the family. The laws differed from the past in that marriage was less involved than it became in the 600s. Generally, we would want to compare the Islam marriage laws to the North American marriage laws, but in this case the variability from medieval times to current times, gives itself the importance needed to not even have to compare it. The change in their laws, however, did not drastically change the role of women. Women are still serving their husbands and promoting a marriage that is shared by more than one woman. Generally, this is the case all over the world. Therefore, it is not the change of laws or even the new laws that needs to be further researched, but the role of women and the change of it in the future is what needs to be emphasized, as it has stayed stable throughout lifetimes.

 

 

 

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